Damn look over there...what a hot piece of chicken

Not too much discussion needed before this week's food. Fried chicken seems to be a staple in almost all diets and the paste has the same number of ingredients as I have fingers. The best part is, this recipe is very easy to make changes to. You can use a different part of the chicken (I went with chicken breast because, unlike Kim Kardashian, I'm not a big fan of bones). You can vary the heat of the paste (was that a pop culture reference I just made?). You can even add different ingredients/flavors to the paste or the chicken (I think that was a pop culture reference. Look at me, expanding my horizons and such). I'm presenting what I did, but don't let me stifle your creativity in creating this dish. 

Lettuce begin (I got puns too). Start with the ingredients below. 

Nashville hot chicken ingredients

One order of Nashville hot chicken, hold the Nasvhille and the hot

After washing the chicken (no Salmonella please!), dredge it through self rising flour until it's got a nice thick winter coat. No need to brush it in egg or any other sticky agent typically used in frying, the chicken is wet enough on its own to hold on to the flour (plus you just washed it). Heat your oil of choice until it sizzles, and then fry the chicken until it's golden-brown or looks like below.

Damn that looks good

The timing of when you make the paste doesn't matter, but I made mine after I cooked the chicken. Start by microwaving your lard or shortening for 20-30 seconds. I wish I could provide a legitimate reason as to why I used shortening instead of lard, but frankly it was because I couldn't find lard at the store when I went shopping (don't you love the deep, personal insight I always provide my loyal readers??). Anyways, mix the melted lard/shortening with the remaining paste ingredients until it looks like the bowl of molten lava below. With paste and chicken done, it's time to make a sammich. 

Sorta looks like milk. Lumpy milk, but still milk

Let's call this what it felt like later in the night...molten lava

But first, a quick aside that I promise you has a point.

When I was in 4th or 5th grade, I had to write a How-To essay on making a PB&J sandwich. The catch? It had to be TWO PAGES LONG! Now I'm not going to say I was the master wordsmith then that I am now, but how in the hell I was supposed to take something so simple to make that it's name is the recipe and turn that it into two pages of literary gold, I had no idea. So I went with the strategy that I felt every kid with a decent sense of sarcasm at that age would have used: I wrote it with the tone of a complete and utter smart-ass. I kid you not, I had whole paragraphs on these titillating topics (damn now I'm dropping alliteration on you): 

• Plate selection (The paper vs. ceramic debate: How the underlying cleanup issues affect the enjoyment of the final PB&J product)
• Knife selection (Butter, Dinner, or Steak: A look at the spreading scores of these household favorites)
• Proper procedure for the opening, and subsequent closing, of jars
• Storage techniques that will protect those that come after you

Once all of that was said and done, I think I spent about two sentences on actually making and eating the damn thing. The point of all of this being, the Nashville hot chicken sandwich is not difficult to make, nor am I going to try and make it difficult (I told you I had a reason for the PB&J story). You put the chicken on bread, coat one side in paste, flip the chicken, and coat the other side. Put some pickles on it if you want to, and you are done. No need for two pages here, just a simple description (thanks elementary school).

Aren't you glad I didn't take two pages to explain this?

At this point, you are done. The sandwich is made. Go eat it and enjoy. I wanted to include the following picture because everything I read said that if you have an orange grease stain on your bread, you've done right. Looks like I win.

Another picture that would piss off Peyton Manning, but I'm sure even he could appreciate that grease stain

In all seriousness though, the sandwich was delicious. Spicy yes, but nothing I couldn't handle. It was also easy to make, and as I mentioned earlier, easy to alter if you want a little less spice (or more) or wanted to change up the chicken. I've read that this paste/flavor also goes really well on fried seafood (catfish, shrimp) and after tasting it, I am intrigued to try it with something other than chicken. An interesting experience and one that brings us to 6/6.